


Where no Director has gone before

by WishaDream



Series: Control Shorts [15]
Category: Control (Video Game), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Game Night, Not really a cross over, RPG, Role Playing, Star Trek - Freeform, at this point in time Jesse and Emily are just friends, emily plays spock, fluff and nonsense, i know there is a star trek rpg system but i don't know it, jesse plays kirk, playing with friends, so just using dnd terms for rolls, things eventually go offf script, this game is based off the episode Naked Time, ya i don't believe it either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 07:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30001173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishaDream/pseuds/WishaDream
Summary: Simon Arish invites some of his coworkers over for a game of Star Trek RPG. With the ability to be someone else, what kinds of feelings might come out? In a story where the crew of the Enterprise finds themselves succumbing to their various suppressed whims and desires anything can happen.
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Series: Control Shorts [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119476
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Where no Director has gone before

Arish greeted his group of friends as they entered his home.

‘Welcome. Welcome. I hope you all are looking forward to tonight. I know am.”

Jesse Faden, his boss, smiled as she handed him a bag of chips.

“I hope this is enough.”

He thanked her before setting the bag on his kitchen counter.

“I have everyone’s character sheets already made up so pick whichever one interests you the most.”

At the table Jesse and Emily reached for the same sheet, Jesse stopping short first as she gave the blonde a crooked grin.

“Sorry, I was actually reaching for this one.” Jesse moved her hand past the sheet Emily had been going for as she picked up another one.

‘Are you sure?”

Jesse smiled, “Yes. Kirk was always my favorite.”

“Data is mine, but we’re not playing TNG.”

“Maybe next time,” stated Arish as he passed the pair.

A knock at the door drew him away as he headed back to let in the final members of the group.

“Sorry I’m late,” went Min-Young, “I brought a vegetable platter.”

He smiled as he took the food from her.

From the back of the apartment could be heard the sound of plumbing flushing as Langston came out of the bathroom, “You have a very nice place, Arish.”

As everyone got snacks, Arish went over the little they needed to know to play the game for just the beginning part, “Anything more I’ll go into as it comes up. But I don’t want to overwhelm you with rules. This is all about having fun.”

“Why don’t we all say who we are playing before we get started,” suggested Min-Young.

“Oh, right. Good idea.”

Jesse shifted in her seat as she said, ‘I’ll go first. I will be playing the famous James T. Kirk, captain of the Enterprise.”

She smiled confidently before turning her gaze to the side where Emily sat.

“Oh, me? Right. I’m playing Spock, head science officer.” Lifting her hand she performed the Vulcan salute.

Langston frowned as everyone looked at him, “What?”

“Your turn.”

He shuffled through his pages for a moment, squinting as he found the name on the page, “I am Scotty the Enterprise’s chief engineer.”

Min-Young smiled as she introduced herself as, ‘Dr. Leonard McCoy. Or Bones, if you prefer.”

Once that was done, Arish got started on setting the scene, “Captains log. Our position: orbiting psi 2000, an ancient world, now a frozen wasteland about to rip apart in its death throes. Our mission: to pick up a scientific party below and observe the disintegration of the planet.”

“Wait,” Min-Young paused the game as she held up her hand, “I feel like I’ve seen this episode.”

Arish smiled, “I’m actually using an episode of the original series for this game. I didn’t have time to come up with my own stuff so I thought it would be okay.”

Min-Young nodded, “I understand. I don’t remember it that well, but I’ll play like I don’t know anything.”

He smiled, “Thanks. Okay, uh, where was I. Oh yes.” Turning to Jesse he said, “When the Enterprise arrives you find no signs of life on the planet.”

“Wait, wasn’t there supposed to be a research team there?”

He nodded, “No signs of life. Not even the team.”

Jesse frowned as she tapped her chin thoughtfully, “What would Kirk do?” turning, she motioned to Emily as she said, ‘Spock, send down a team to see what happened to the team.”

+

+

Emily Pope, head of research for the Enterprise beamed down to the research building on Psi 2000. A female Vulcan with short slicked back blonde hair, her expression was completely impassive as she immediately took in her surroundings.

With her was a human male named Joe Tormolen. He had short brown hair and wore the blue version of the Federation uniform. Over their main uniforms they each wore a hazmat suit as a precaution against any possible infection.

The scientists they had come to pick up had set up the building to protect themselves from the elements as they studied the planet. Though indoors the building was covered in ice. As the two started their search they found one of the scientists sitting at a console completely frozen in place.

“Sergeant, check the life support systems,” ordered Emily, “They should have kept the room from becoming like this. It might have something to do with the crew’s current state.”

While the man headed off, Emily pulled out a device to scan the area, taking chemical and visual recordings of the scene.

Around a pillar she paused as she found a woman lying on the ground. She was also covered in ice. Kneeling down, she ran the scanner over the body. The readout told her the woman had been strangled.

Ice crunched as the scientist returned, ‘All life systems were off, sir.’”

She motioned to the woman lying on the ground, “Someone strangled this woman.”

The man motioned behind him, “The other four are back there.”

“Dead?”

“Right, sir.”

“Engineer at his post?”

“He’s frozen there like he didn’t care.”

Emily frowned, looking like she was working out the problem in her mind, ‘The rest?

“Well, better look for yourself, Ms. Pope. One man is taking a shower fully clothed.”

+

+

_“I get up and head off to check it out for myself.”_

_Arish made some rolls behind his DM screen._

_“While you do that the scientist scans more of the ship.”_

_He frowned._

_‘Everything okay?”_

_He tried to regain his composure so as not to give anything away, “Guy’s just not that bright.”_

_Jesse’s eyebrow arched, “Why? What are you rolling for?”_

_Arish smiled, “Nothing you need to worry about. Yet.”_

_Everyone at the table exchanged a look. From the smile on Min-Young’s face it looked like she knew exactly what was coming._

_“Come on, Min-Young, tell me,” Langston pulled at her arm, “I don’t need the stress.”_

_She shook her head as Langston let out a disgruntled groan._

+

+

On performing her own search of the building Emily found it just as the other officer had said. She took readings on everything, but nothing was immediately presenting itself. Whatever had happened here could not be gleaned from a cursory search. She was going to need to take the data back to the ship for further analysis.

Heading back to the main room where the officer was making his own search she called to him, “Mr. Tormolen, make sure you don’t expose yourself to anything,” pressing the button on the communicator, she called up to the ship, “Pope to Enterprise, do you read me?”

Back on the ship, Jesse Faden, captain of the Enterprise leaned forward in her captain’s seat. Her red hair was pulled back in a ponytail, with only a portion of her hair left loose as it hung across the left side of her face.

Pressing the button on the arm of her chair she replied to the call, “Faden. Affirmative.”

“All the station personnel are dead.”

Jesse’s brow furrowed at the news, “What caused it?”

“Unknown, Captain. It’s like nothing we’ve dealt with before.”

+

+

_Everyone at the table looked at one another then laughed._

_“Probably nothing they’ve dealt with before,” went Langston, “but I’m sure we’ve encountered weirder.”_

_“Oh yeah, definitely.”_

+

+

The science party the Enterprise was supposed to find was dead. The life system appeared to have been turned off by one of the personnel who was found frozen nearby.

For the crew of the Enterprise this was highly unusual. While disconcerting, they had come there for two reasons. Remaining in orbit, the ship stayed close enough to take scientific measurements of the planet as it broke apart.

Pope and Tormolen had just beamed aboard. Before the man could leave the pad Pope stopped him.

Langston, head engineer, was standing at the teleport console. Though it wasn’t regulation, he wore a red infantry sweater in place of the usual Federation shirt.

Pope looked at him as she said, “Did you receive my signal, Mister Langston?”

“Yes, sir. Decontaminate.”

The man beside Langston flipped a switch as lights of various colors flashed over the teleport pad.

While the colors washed over the pair, Langston pressed a button as he contacted the bridge, “Captain, Pope has returned. We’re holding them in the chamber for decontamination.”

Jesse held her hands in an arch in front of her face as her expression became thoughtful, “Better have medicine look over them too. Tell Ms. Pope I’ll meet her there in ten minutes. Faden out.”

After decontamination, Pope and Lt. Tormolen headed to medicine where Min-Young checked them over.

Though cold, Min-Young was a competent practitioner of the medical sciences. After giving Tormolen a thorough look over, she told him everything checked out, before turning to call to Pope, “You’re up.”

As the scan finished, Min-Young checked the readouts, frowning at their results, “Your pulse is 242 and your blood pressure…is practically nonexistent. Assuming you call that green stuff in your veins blood.”

Emily was nonplussed by the doctor’s sharp tone as she informed her, ‘The readings are perfectly normal for me, doctor. Thank you. And as for my anatomy being different from yours, I am delighted.”

As the doors to the room opened the readouts on Pope’s pulse spiked as Captain Faden entered the room.

The impassive expression that always adorned Pope’s face broke for a moment, a bright smile coming out as she greeted her superior, ‘Jesse.”

Jesse returned the smile, coming over to squeeze her science officer’s shoulder in camaraderie, “How are they, doctor?”

As Jesse released Pope’s shoulder the Vulcan moved off the medical table, cutting off Min-Young’s readings on the woman. Shaking her head, she decided the spike had just been a fluke, as she responded to the captain’s question, “They are fine, Jesse.”

“Terrible, captain,” went officer Tormolen “It was terrible. They were just sitting like they didn’t care. Whatever was happening, they didn’t care. I keep wondering—.”

Jesse interrupted as she finished for him, ‘You keep wondering if man was meant to be out here. You keep wondering why you keep signing on.”

The man smiled, looking relieved to know Jesse understood exactly what he was thinking. And it was true. There were several days when she wondered why she had chosen this kind of life. There were so many other things she could do. So many other jobs she could have taken. But out here in space, exploring the uncharted galaxy, there were so many new things to encounter, and just as many things she was giving up.

Her eyes wandered to Emily. The woman was standing ramrod straight, hands clasped behind her back.

Jesse only partially understood her reason for joining the crew of the Enterprise. As a Vulcan, the search for answers to life’s questions seemed like the obvious excuse. But was the pursuit of knowledge the only reason for Emily’s choices? Did she never make decisions based off something deeper? Something more primal. Illogical.

Illogical. Like everything Pope had encountered on the science station back on the planet.

Returning her thoughts to the present problem, Jessed asked of the Vulcan, “Any guess, Ms. Pope? Any idea what happened down there?”

“I wish I could say…Captain,” her cold Vulcan composer was back as she continued, “The circumstances were quite bizarre. However our record tape may show us something.”

“Six people,” they all looked back at the crewman, his voice sounding haunted as he repeated the words, ‘Six people. Dead.”

Jesse touched his shoulder comfortingly, “You better get some rest.”

‘Yes, sir.”

Turning back to Emily, Jesse told her, ‘Set up those tapes. We’ll see if the answer’s on there.”

___

In the meeting room, Pope, Jesse, Min-Young, and Langston gathered to look over the spectro-analysis tape.

The tape replayed the scene as Pope and the other man had found it.

“It’s almost like they were irrational,” stated Pope, “Drugged. An engineer sitting there, apparently oblivious to everything. A woman strangled. A crewman with a phase pistol in his hand.”

“You said he was using the computer room as if it were an amusement gallery?”

Pope nodded as Jesse rested her chin on her clasped hands, “And a fully clothed man frozen to death in a shower. If the image wasn’t so ugly it’d be laughable. Not even a theory?”

Min-Young checked over her notes before saying, “It’s not drugs, or intoxication. The bio analysis on the tapes proves that conclusively.”

Emily’s expression was thoughtful as Jesse looked at her.

It was amazing how even in these horrible situations she was able to keep her poise and not let emotion get in the way. It was utterly horrifying the things they had found, and while it made Jesse shudder, Pope looked completely unaffected. Everything was just numbers and facts to her.

What kind of horrors would they have to encounter before Jesse saw a chink in the Vulcan’s impassive demeanor? What would it take to crack that hard outer shell and what things might they find once her center was exposed?

“Pope? You have any theories?”

“It could be some form of space madness we’ve never heard of, but it would have to be caused by something. Our spectro-reading showed no contamination or unusual elements present.”

Langston let out a snort, “Or at least none your tricorder could register.”

Pope looked at him, her expression unreadable as she said, “Instruments register only those things they’re designed to register. Space still contains infinite unknown.”

_Like the heart of a Vulcan woman._

Jesse nodded, “Earth science needs the closest possible measurements of the breakup of this planet. To do this we need the Enterprise in a critically tight orbit. Question—would what happened down there to those people create any unusual danger to this vessel and crew?”

As she scanned the room, Pope met her gaze as she said, “We will need top efficiency, Jesse…Captain. It’ll be a tricky orbit. When the planet begins to go there may be drastic changes. Gravity. Mass Magnetic fields.”

Jesse stood, letting out a heavy sigh as she paced the table while clasping her hands behind her back, “The purpose of a briefing is to get answers based on your abilities and experience. In a critical orbit there’s no time for surprise.”

Langston looked perturbed by the reminder as he said, “Unless you people on the bridge start taking showers with your clothes on my engines can pull us out of anything.”

Jesse smiled at him, as out of character she thought to herself, _“Such a Scotty thing to say.”_

The engineer continued as he said, “We’ll be warping out of orbit within a half second of your command.”

The comms sounded as a voice said, “Bridge to captain.”

“Faden here.”

“Scanners report a sudden four-degree shift in planet magnetic fields. A change in mass also, sir.”

As Jesse looked back at the table Pope informed her, “It’s beginning. Unusually rapid shifts.”

Jesse pressed the comm button, “On our way, lieutenant.” On her way out the door she paused, looking back at Langston as she said, “I’ll hold you to that half a second.”

+

+

_Arish made several dice rolls behind his screen._

_“I really don’t like it when he does that.”_

+

+

The ship’s orbit was tightening. Absolute efficiency was needed, but unknown to the crew a totally new and unusual disease had been brought aboard.

On the deck, alarms sounded as one of the crew let the captain know the relative gravity of the planet had increased.

“Compensate,” ordered Jesse.

“Magnetic field continuing to shift, sir,” answered the crewman, “Planet continuing to shrink in mass.”

“Ms. Pope?”

“All scanning stations manned. All recorders running.”

“Okay. Steady now.”

“Obviously this planet is condensing more rapidly than expected. A valuable study. We may be seeing earth’s distant future. Before its sun went dark this planet was remarkably similar to hers.”

Jesse’s smile cocked to the side as she looked back at the scientist, ‘No need to be so smug about it, Pope.”

Turning, Emily looked back at her as she flatly replied, “Sorry, ma’am.”

Turning back to her console, Emily frowned as she switched over to a psychiatric readout on Tormolen.

After leaving the clinic he’d had a breakdown in the lunch room. A fight had occurred and he’d ended up stabbing himself. Reports claimed he sounded like he had survivor’s guilt after seeing the scientist’s dead bodies.

Sensing Jesse standing behind her as she read over the report, Pope told her, “It appears he saw them as having been left by the Federation to die.”

Jesse rested her chin on Emily’s shoulder as she skimmed over the report, “So he was trying to kill himself?”

“I believe he was more confused, self-tortured. This doesn’t sound like the man you know, Jesse. His capacity for self-doubt has always been rather high.”

Jesse shifted her gaze to take in Emily’s expression. As always it was unreadable. Like a painting, a thought frozen in time. What kinds of things made her feel doubt? Or did it classify as an emotion in the Vulcan mind?

“What perplexes me, Captain, is what brought this reaction to the surface with so much force.”

Pope turned to face Jesse as the captain stepped back so that they were left staring at one another. A heart beat passed between them as Jesse considered what emotions of hers might come to the surface if she experienced the same thing.

More interesting to her was what kinds of things it might bring to the surface in Pope. Did she have any emotions she kept buried? Any desires she hid away deep in her heart.

Returning to her seat, Jesse received an alert from Min-Young down in medical.

“Jesse, here.”

“I’m sorry, captain. I—I lost him.”

Jesse frowned, looking at the speaker in the chair as if she could see the doctor’s face there.

“I thought you said the injury wasn’t severe.”

It had only been a butter knife stabbed in the side. The other crewman in the lunchroom had wrestled the weapon away from him before he could do anything worse to himself.

_How did it get as bad as this?_

‘It—it wasn’t, ma’am. The surgery was going fine then he just started crashing. It was almost like…”

“Like what?”

‘Like he didn’t want to live.”

Before she could ask the doctor what she meant the ship shifted.

Her eyes shot to the helm as she told them, “Steady orbit.”

The ship continued to shake as she got up, heading over to press the button on the console.

The officer there turned to look at her, “Sorry. I must be a little nervous. I guess.”

Jesse frowned at him.

Behind her, Pope called to her, “Planet break up is imminent. Shrinking in size at an increasing rate. As the planet continues to shrink in size its surface moves away from us.”

Jesse frowned as she looked at the display of the planet, “Forcing us to spiral down to maintain the same distance from it.”

Emily smiled, ‘Exactly,” then returned to a blank expression, “We must be prepared to respond instantly to any sudden change.”

+

+

_Jesse laughed as she told Arish, “We get it. Everything is going to go terribly wrong and make this a death defying endeavor.”_

_The man smiled, “What makes you think that?”_

_The group laughed as Langston let out a stressed groan as he held his stomach._

+

+

“Jesse to engine room.”

“Here, Captain.”

“Tie into the helm, Langston. If we should call for power we’ll want it fast.”

“No problem, ma’am. You’ll have it.”

“Rate of compaction seems constant,” stated Emily.

Jesse turned.

Pope had her back to her, shoulders hunched, as she closely studied the computer readouts.

Pressing her lips together, she took another heart beat to watch her before pushing herself up from the chair, “I’ll see what the good doctor wants. Keep me informed of any changes, Pope.”

‘Acknowledged.”

Jesse stood for another moment, watching Emily as she worked, so focused, so driven. Never letting anything get under her skin. Always so cool. So calm. So collected.

What would it take to get her to react different? To get her to show some actual emotions.

_What would I have to do to get under her skin_

In the doctor’s office Jesse noted how different Min-Young was from Pope. While Pope would have informed her of the facts about the surgery with the warmth of a computer readout, Min-Young’s voice fluctuated with emotion as she said, “The injury wasn’t even that severe. We got to him in plenty of time. The only reason he died was because he gave up.”

Jesse frowned, “That’s a supposition, doctor. Not a fact.”

Min-Young did not look happy as she said, “It may be. I have lost patients before, but not like that. Not Joe’s kind. That kind of man doesn’t give up.”

Min-Young was right. As long as Jesse had known the man he’d always been a fighter. Not someone who had a mental breakdown in the middle of the canteen.

“Coincidence? Maybe.”

Did she say it because she wanted it to be true? Because she knew something darker had to be going on and she wasn’t yet ready to accept it.

“You mean that Joe was down on the planet surface and you’re asking me if it is connected?”

It wasn’t what she’d been thinking, but it should have been.

“That’s exactly what I was gonna ask.”

“Jesse, he was decontaminated. He was medically checked. We’ve run every test we know for everything we know--.”

“That’s not good enough.”

Emotion.

Things she felt.

Things she experienced.

Things she acted on.

Did Pope feel any of that? Or was it all foreign to her. Something as strange to her as the thought of taking a shower in ones clothes.

Min-Young let out a tired sigh, “We’re doing everything that’s possible.”

“Min-Young, I want the impossible checked out too.”

____

Emily looked up from the computer as she noticed the ship was letting out a warning signal. The voice was telling those on the bridge that the ship was getting too close to the planet.

Looking back she found only one person was at the helm and he wasn’t paying attention.

Hurrying over, she pressed the necessary buttons as she set things right.

The man still didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong as she fixed him with a frown, “Why isn’t Mr. Sulu at his station?”

Seeing that Pope was looking at him, he started doing his job as he agitatedly said, “Magnetic pull compensated for, sir. Orbit steady.”

Pope’s frown deepened as she turned to one of the crewman at the side stations, “Take over here,” then turning her attention back to the remaining helmsman she said, “You haven’t answered my question. Where is Mr. Sulu?

The man started to smile, one of those cocky smiles that Jesse sometimes wore, but not nearly as handsome.

“Have no fear, Riley is here. And one Irishman is worth ten thousand of you--.”

Pope stood straighter, clasping her hands behind her back as she cut him off, “You’re relieved, Mr. Riley. Lt. Uhura, take over this station.”

‘Yes, ma’am”

Riley smirked as the woman came over to the helm, “Now that’s what I like. Let the women work, too. Universal suffering.”

Pope didn’t bat an eye, like she had no opinion on the matter as she told him, “Report to sick bay, Mr. Riley.”

“Sick bay. Exactly where I was headed, ma’am.”

Pope tapped the comm on the console, “Security, Mr. Riley is headed for sick bay. See to it he arrives. Captain Jesse to the bridge.”

+

+

_Behind the screen Arish rolled some dice. “Langston, I need you to make an insight check.”_

_“Eight.”_

+

+

The door to the bridge opened as Jesse entered the room.

Pope immediately lit up like she was surprised to see the captain there, “Jesse.”

+

+

_”Emily, you realize Vulcans don’t smile that much,” Min-Young shot a look at Arish, “Even when their favorite captain enters the room.”_

_“Right. Sorry. I’ll try harder to stay in character.”_

_Jesse touched her hand briefly as she informed her, “You’re doing great. Play the Vulcan however you want.”_

_“Thanks.”_

+

+

Jesse had already heard about the helmsmen’s strange behavior. As she recalled, they had been the two that had tried to stop Joe Tormolen from killing himself. Whatever had affected him seemed to have moved onto them.

“What were their symptoms?”

Pope stood ramrod straight, like a line. A line that couldn’t be crossed.

“Nonviolent at this stage. Slightly disoriented. Riley seemed pleased with himself as if he were—.”

“Irrational. Or drugged.”

“Precisely.”

Looking to the helm where Uhura was still at work, Jesse told her, “Have security find both Riley and Sulu. I want them confined. And I want every crewman who had contact with them medically checked.”

Uhura put her hand to her ear as she said, “Ma’am, level two corridor 3 reports a disturbance. Mr. Sulu is chasing crewman with a sword.”

“Put security on it.”

Pope had that scientist’s spark in her eyes as she said, ‘Fascinating. A pattern is developing. First Joe Tormolen with his hidden personality traits being forced to the surface. Then Riley, who fancies himself a descendant of Irish kings. And now Sulu, who is at heart a swashbuckler out of your 18th century.”

What would it take for Jesse to be the reason for that spark? To be the reason for her fascination.

The thought was shaken from her head as the ship started to shift from side to side as the sensors rang out around them.

Jesse grabbed her chair to steady herself as she called to Pope, “Present condition of psi 2000.”

‘Gravity pull increasing. We’ve shifted to 2% and should stabilize our position.”

“Helmsmen stabilize our position.”

Uhura pressed some buttons then frowned, “Helm is not answering to control.”

‘Warp us out of here.”

‘No response from engines, ma’am.’

Jesse took a seat as the ship continued to shake, “Impulse power then. Blast us out of this orbit.”

“Impulse engines also dead, ma’am.”

Jesse hit her hand on the chair arm, wincing as she shook her hand with the pain.

Pope moved closer, giving her hand a brief look over with her eyes before calling out to the room, “Engine room, we need power.”

No response.

Jesse pressed the comm button on her chair, ‘Mr. Langston, acknowledge. Our controls are dead.”

Still no response.

Jesse rose from her seat, “Pope, take control. I’m heading down to engineering.”

As she moved to the doors at the back they came open as Sulu sprang through. A rapier flashed in his hand as the man leveled it at Jesse.

“Richelieu, at last.”

Jesse frowned, “Sulu, put that away.”

Sulu didn’t move to obey as he instead lifted his free hand behind him, “For honor, queen, and France!” Then lunged.

Jesse ducked out of the way, leaping over the bar surrounding the lower half of the bridge. With Jesse gone, Sulu turned his sight on Pope as he let out an overjoyed laugh. Pope was unmoved as she stared the man down.

This seemed to work as Sulu started swiping his sword at the air away from Pope.

As he did this Uhura tried to get his attention. Her voice seemed to soothe him as his swiping stopped, but when she came closer to try to take it he suddenly grabbed her, pulling her close as he said, “I’ll protect you, fair maiden.”

“Sorry, neither,” she pushed away from him, breaking free of his hold. As she did Jesse took the chance to lunge at the man as she tackled him. The two were equally matched as they grappled for control.

+

+

_”Um, can I use this thing called Vulcan nerve pinch?”_

_Jesse looked at Emily as she asked, ‘What’s that?”_

_“It says I grip the base of the victim’s neck, basically touching a pressure point. If I roll a 15 or higher I knock them out instantly.”_

_“Roll for it.”_

+

+

As Jesse and Sulu struggled for control, Pope casually walked up behind the pair, reaching out as she pinched Sulu’s neck at the base. Immediately he crumpled to the ground unconscious.

Jesse’s eyebrows lifted as she looked at the scientist in wonder, “I’d like you to teach me that some time.”

If Jesse didn’t know better she’d think Pope gave her a smug look before telling security, “Take Sulu to sick bay.”

Jesse returned to her chair as she pressed the comms, “Langston, we need power. Engine room. Acknowledge.”

“You rang, ma’am?”

Jesse frowned as she did not recognize the voice. It was most definitely *not* Langston.

“Who is this?”

“This is Captain Kevin Thomas Riley of the starship Enterprise. And who is this?”

Jesse cast a look at Pope as her eyebrow lifted curiously, ‘Captain Jesse. Get out of the engine room, navigator. Where is Mr. Langston?”

“I’ve relieved Mr. Langston of his duties,” he sounded so casual. Like it didn’t even matter. Obviously he was infected, “Now, attention cooks, this is your captain speaking. I would like double portions of ice cream for the entire crew.”

While the man rambled off a list of orders, Jesse told the bridge she was heading to engineering. Before she could leave Pope called after her.

“Captain.”

She paused.

“At our present rate of descent we have less than 20 minutes before we enter planet atmosphere.”

She sounded so impassive, like it didn’t matter. If Jesse didn’t know any better she would have suspected Pope was already infected.

If she had been, how different would it have made her? Could the actions she made be considered her true self?

“And burn up,” Jesse finished for her, “I know, Ms. Pope.”

She left the room.

With very little time left Jesse ran down the halls of the ship. Ahead of her she found Langston and a crewman standing outside the engineering door.

“How did Riley get in there?”

Langston frowned, looking tired as he said, ‘He ran in. Said you wanted us on the bridge.”

Jesse frowned as she looked at the closed door, “He’s cut off both helm and power.”

Langston motioned to the door, “And he shut the door behind us and locked off the mechanism.”

“Can’t you get to the auxiliary power?”

“I can’t. He’s hooked everything through the main panel in there,” turning to the crewman with him, Langston told him, “Get to my office and pull the plans for this bulkhead. The only way to get that door open is to cut through these wall circuits here.”

He pointed to the spot.

___

Back on the bridge, Pope asked for a report on the ship’s crew.

“A fight has broken out in the wardroom,” stated Uhura, “Security reports incidents among the crewman are increasing.”

Pope took a breath as she stared ahead, “Go to alert Baker Two. Seal off main sections.”

Uhura complied as she made a report, “All deck alert. System B-2.”

Pope wasn’t her usual chirpy self when Jesse returned to the deck. She only gave her a brief nod of acknowledgement before getting right into business.

“I’m having everything sealed off. If we can minimize the spread of whatever this is—.”

The alert that had been sounding cut off as Jesse turned to Uhura, “Continue the alert.”

“I can’t sir. He’s cut off the alert channel.”

Jesse let out a puffed cheek sigh, ‘We really shouldn’t have so much tied into that one system.”

Pope tried to help Uhura but nothing she did seemed to fix it.

+

+

_Arish opened an app on his phone as he started to play a recording of an Irishman singing a song._

_“That’s going to get old fast,” stated Langston with a labored sigh._

+

+

“No way past it,” stated Pope, “He controls the main power panels. He can override any channel from down there. 17 minutes left.”

The ship suddenly lurched to the side as everyone was tossed to the side, bumping into walls and chairs and each other. Jesse and Pope collided at one point as for a moment time seemed to stop. She could feel the weight of Pope’s hand on her arm. Felt the press of her body against hers as for a moment it was like they were holding each other.

Then they were pulled apart again as they tumbled to opposite sides of the bridge.

“Sick bay to bridge,” Min-Young’s voice came over the comms as she said, “Can you keep this beast level? I’ve got Sulu tranquilized. We’re running tests on him. So far there’s nothing unusual in his blood stream. Body functions seem normal.”

Jesse pulled herself back to her seat as she pressed the button to respond, “Riley’s the immediate problem, Doctor. Is there any way, anything you can do to snap him out of it?”

“I need to run more tests. I’ll get back to you as soon as I know something.”

As her channel closed another opened as Langston’s voice came through, ‘Try your helm now. You should have enough power to keep her stabilized.”

“Sixteen minutes,” stated Pope, like a Vulcan clock counting down the time till their destruction.

How was she able to remain so calm with the impending danger so threatening?

“And we’re still spiraling down.”

Jesse gripped her hand into a fist as she lightly tapped it against the chair arm, “Get me sick bay.”

“I can’t,” replied Uhura, “Riley keeps switching channels on me.”

Looking at Pope, Jesse said, “See what you can do to help Dr. Min-Young, but check on Langston first. Move him faster. He needs to get through that bulkhead now.”

Pope nodded serenely before heading out of the room.

____

On her way down the hall Emily passed a man laughing at a paintbrush.

Pope frowned as she told the man, “Report to the lab.”

Moving past him, Pope found the man had not just been laughing at a paintbrush but had also painted an admonition to “love mankind” on the ship’s hallway.

It was all completely illogical, but not unexpected in a crew of humans. Though she was half-human, she did not understand them or their need to display their emotions so freely. It seemed much easier to her to look at things logically, emotions had no bearing on any aspect of her life.

As she thought that, logic reminded her that was not true. There were moments, brief instances, when Captain Faden entered a room that she felt a brief glimmer of something. A hint of emotion that made her think she could understand why humans based their actions on emotion.

Then her Vulcan training kicked in again and she pushed the feeling away. It had no real bearing in her life. No purpose other than to confused her. And as the head science officer she had no room for confusion. Lives were at stake, especially in this moment. And during times like this, emotion did not belong in the place of logic.

+

When she found Langston he was cutting into the bulkhead outside the engine room. He was making progress but it was slow work.

“Message from the captain.”

Langston rolled his eyes, “Tell her I’m doing my best. If I cut though the wrong circuit--.”

“We have 14 minutes left.”

‘Even if we are under full-scale attack I couldn’t move any faster, not while maintaining the safety factor.”

Pope’s eyes flicked over to the hole he was cutting in the bulkhead. In her mind numbers flashed across her vision as she calculated the amount of time it would take them at their current rate of cutting. Putting it all together she came up with the amount of time being a minute and a half longer than they had left.

“We can’t afford safety factors. Get it done.”

From there Pope headed straight to the medical bay. The lights were dim as she entered. Looking around she did not see Min-Young. Moving further into the room she found the bay’s nurse standing in front of a mirror as she wrung her hands.

“Where is Dr. Min-Young?”

“She’s gone to the lab to get the biopsy report.”

Pope frowned as she headed to the computer. “Biopsy come in.”

There was no response.

Before Pope could leave the room the nurse took her hand.

Pope pulled free.

‘What is it nurse?”

She took Pope’s hand again, caressing the back of it as she softly said, “Ms. Pope, the people from Vulcan treat each other so strangely. At least, that’s what they say. But you’re part human, too. I know you don’t. You couldn’t hurt me. Would you?”

+

+

_”Emily, I’m going to need you to make a constitution save.”_

_“Ten.”_

+

+

For the first time in a long time, the emotions Pope usually kept pushed down started to bubble to the surface with the question. Feelings that came from her mother. Her human mother.

When she pulled her hand free again the movement was slower, staggered, like she was pulling it through an emotional chowder.

As she turned towards the door the nurse called after her, ‘I love you, Ms. Pope.”

This caused Pope to stall as she slowly looked back over her shoulder at the woman.

“You the human, Ms. Pope. The Vulcan, Ms. Pope.”

The woman approached as Pope turned to face her.

“Nurse, you should--.”

“Christine, please. I see things. How honest you are,” she took Pope’s hands in hers, “I know how you feel. You hide it, but you do have feelings. Oh, how we must hurt you. Torture you.”

In that moment she pictured Jesse with her easy smile. With her confident swagger. Everything seemed so easy for her. She could just do things. Say things. Feel things without any fear for how it might affect things.

Pope’s chest shook as she took in a calming breath, “I’m in control of my emotions.”

“The others believe that. I don’t. I love you,” reaching up she gently touched Pope’s face, “I don’t know why, but I love you. I do love you, just as you are. Oh, I love you.”

With her other hand she lifted Pope’s hand to her lips as she kissed the back of it.

Pope pulled free, “I’m sorry.”

“Christine.”

“Christine.”

A whistle sounded as the bridge called down to sickbay, “Is Ms. Pope there?”

Pope looked pained as she slowly turned away from the nurse as she headed out of the room.

Everything she’d ever felt, ever suppressed, seemed to be hitting her in that moment, the weight of all her emotions making her stumble as she caught herself against a wall.

The comms sounded again as Uhura’s voice said, ‘Ms. Pope, would you please acknowledge?”

But Pope didn’t hear the call as she continued forward, lost in a daze.

It all felt so strange, so foreign and she had the sudden urge to cry.

“No.”

Steadying herself, her emotions, she kept a stiff upper lip as she kept moving forward away from the medical bay. Away from her emotions. One step after another. Never stopping, never pausing long enough for them to catch up with her. The feelings she’d never accepted.

____

Jesse reached Langston just as he’d finished busting into the bulkhead. As the man readied to open the door Jesse told security to set their phasers to stun.

“Don’t fire unless he’s armed. Go.”

The door slid open as they rushed into the room. Riley didn’t put up a fight as security quickly took a hold of him before dragging him out of the room.

Once he was out Langston hurried over to the controls as he tried to fix the damage Riley had done.

As he worked the bridge called down to control.

“Jesse here.”

“Entering planet’s outer atmosphere,” stated Uhura.

“Captain.”

Jesse noticed the worry in Langston’s expression as she looked at him, “What is it?”

“He’s turned the engines off. They’re completely cold. It’ll take 30 minutes to regenerate them.”

Over the comms Uhura informed Jesse, ‘The ship’s outer skin is beginning to heat. Orbit plot shows we have about eight minutes left.”

Jesse looked at Langston.

He shook his head, “I can’t change the laws of physics. I got to have 30 minutes.” At Jesse’s frown he said, “I can maybe get it down to 22-23 minutes.”

“Langston we have six minutes.”

“Captain, you can’t mix matter and antimatter cold. We’d go up in the biggest explosion since--.”

Jesse held up her hand as an idea started to form in her mind, “We can bring our engines back with a controlled implosion.”

“That’s only theory. It’s never been done.”

Jesse didn’t hear him as she said, “Bridge, have you found Pope yet?”

“No, sir.”

Langston was still talking as he said, “If you wanted a chance it’s 10k to one. Maybe. Assuming we had a row of computes working weeks on the right formula.”

_Or a Vulcan with five minutes._

Jesse told Langston to start getting things ready as she left the room. Over the comms Min-Young contacted Jesse directly.

“It’s the water. Somehow the planets water was changed. The contagion is passed through perspiration. Once in the bloodstream it acts like an alcohol, repressing the center of judgment and self-control. But I’ve found the cure and Sulu is doing just fine now.”

“Good, get the cure distributed around the ship.”

_____

Pope wandered down the halls of the ship, too overcome with the flood of emotions, of feelings that she’d spent her whole life suppressing. It was like a dam had completely shattered in her heart as tears threatened to spill out as everything hit her at once.

Memories of her mother trying to hug her and Pope pushing her away.

The anger she had pushed down whenever anyone treated her poorly for being half-human.

The rage that had gripped her whenever the kids made fun of her mother, treating her like something lesser.

But most of all she felt sad as the emotion hit her like an ocean wave. She ducked into a room for privacy.

On her own she began to weep fully. Or started to, but her Vulcan training was still a part of her as she clenched her hands into fists, willing herself to remain calm. To remain logical.

‘I am in control of my emotions. I am in control of my emotions.”

While the words were strongly spoken she found herself openly crying as the tears cascaded down her cheeks like rain.

Bracing herself against the door she tensed her body as she reminded herself, “I am an officer. An officer.”

Officers didn’t cry. They didn’t break down. The ship and its crew’s lives were at stake. There wasn’t time for such things.

Taking a breath to steady herself she felt the tears well up again as her eyes stung.

_But why isn’t there time?_

Wasn’t mental health just as important as physical health and well-being? If she needed to cry, even as a Vulcan, wasn’t that a logical recourse.

Nothing she usually did to stop the tears was working as she hit her hand into her fist, hoping the pain would distract her mind. It helped, a little, bringing her back enough to recall she had a job to do.

‘My duty. My duty is--,” stumbling forward, she collapsed into a chair at a desk. There she rested her head on her arm as she started to weep again, “My duty is—too late. I’m sorry.” Taking a breath she reached for the computer on the table. “My duty is—two, two, four, six. Six times…”

With that she rested her head on her arm as she returned to crying.

That was how Jesse found her when she entered the room a few moments later.

‘Where have you been?”

Moving closer she noticed the pained look on Pope’s face as she lifted her head from her arm.

“What happened?”

“My mother.”

Jesse’s heart dropped as her immediate thought was that Pope had just received news of her passing.

“I could never tell her I loved her.”

Jesse blinked, stunned for a moment before she reminded her scientist, “We have four minutes. Maybe five.”

Pope didn’t seem to hear her as she miserably said, “An earth woman living on a planet where love and emotion are seen as bad taste.”

Jesse grabbed her shoulders, lifting her up as she reminded her, “We’ve got to risk a full power start of the engine. There is no time to regenerate them. Do you hear me?”

Pope sniffed in response, “I respected my father, our customs. I was ashamed of my earth blood.”

Jesse looked pained. Though she’d wanted to see the more emotional side of Pope there wasn’t time for that. Seeing no other recourse she hit Pope across the face.

The Vulcan looked unaffected as she fixed Jesse with a teary eyed expression, ‘When I feel friendship for you I’m ashamed.”

Jesse’s hand shook before she used it to hit Pope again, “I need you to hear me.”

On the last hit Pope started to feel some control of her emotions return, but not enough to bring her back completely. For now, emotion was still the driving force in her life, in her choices. Her decisions.

Letting out a tired sigh Jesse stepped back, her shoulders slumping with defeat.

“We need a formula, Pope. We need you if we’re going to risk an implosion.”

“It’s never been done.”

The cool and calculated Pope was only there for a moment before the emotions returned, taking control as she looked away.

Emotions she’d been keeping under a tight lock deep down inside where none could reach the surface. Now they were all rising up like ghosts from hell. And unlike other times, she did not mind seeing them exposed. There were still so many more things she’d like to say. Things she’d like to do.

“I’ve spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings.”

Jesse looked pain as she struck Pope again.

‘Pope, I need a--.”

+

+

_”I kiss her.”_

_“Okay, make an attack—wait, what?”_

_Arish was startled, more startled as Jesse slapped both hands down on the table before pointing a finger at Arish, “I kiss her back.”_

_The man blinked, looked stunned as he took a moment to look between them. Both looked serious as he finally replied, “Okay, you two kiss.”_

_“Oh, but it’s important for the sake of the crew that we don’t lose sight of what’s important.”_

_Jesse folded her arms, nodding at Emily’s words._

_“So while we kiss we continue the talk about the ship.”_

_Arish looked at the others as if they might be able to explain to him what was going on, but they looked as lost as him._

_“Okay. Role-play it.”_

+

+

Pope moved at Jesse, grabbing a hold of her as she pulled her into a kiss. Jesse kissed her back as long suppressed emotions swirled around them like the flames of a fire. In that moment Jesse understood everything and nothing about her head of science.

Emotions had always been what Jesse had used to make her decisions while Pope had solely focused on logic. But here in this moment both views on life met in one as their bodies pressed together. And while Jesse would like to solely focus on her emotions and the feelings of Pope’s lips on hers, logic reminded her that their ship was still in danger.

As she caressed Pope’s neck with her lips, she reminded the woman, “We’ve got to risk implosion. It’s our only chance.”

Pope let out a thoughtful “mm” that hummed against Jesse’s ear, “Yes, but it’s never been done.”

Though she hated to do it, Jesse pushed her back so she could see Pope’s face as she said, “Don’t tell me that again, science officer.” Then she pulled her in again as they went back to kissing, “It’s a theory. It’s possible.”

Over the comms the bridge called down, “Captain. Engineering wants to know if you--.”

Blindly Jesse reached for the button on the nearby computer, “Yes,” her words came out breathless as she couldn’t bring herself to pull away from Pope even to answer, “I found her. Give us a minute.”

“We don’t have a minute, Captain.”

That jolted Jesse free of the madness that had gripped her as she pushed away from Pope completely. Her mind was still buzzing with emotions, with feelings that wanted to grab Pope, pulling her even closer than before. But no, she couldn’t do that. Though Pope always said Jesse based her actions on emotions, a great deal of what she did was decided by logic. By doing what was rational in the moment. And though her body wanted to embrace Pope, her rational side told her it would be the last time if they lost focus on the fact their ship was crashing.

While her lips tingled with desire, her mind fought to keep a hold of focusing on the current problem.

“I’ve got it. The disease. Love,” she let out a bitter chuckle. “love. We’re better off without it. I’m better off without mine,” turning away from Pope she reached out to the wall, “This vessel. It gives, it takes, and she won’t permit me my life. I’ve got to live hers.”

“Jesse.”

Pope’s expression was soft, sympathetic, when Jesse looked at her.

Did she even realize how much it hurt Jesse to stop kissing her? Did she realize how much Jesse wanted to do it again?

_More than breathing I want to taste you again._

“Here you are, right in front of me, showing me your feelings and I can’t return them. Why?” Jesse punched at the air, ‘Because of this damn ship. Because of her I can’t return your emotions. I’m the captain. It’ not permitted.”

The words seemed to jolt Pope completely out of it as she stood straighter, clasping her hands behind her back a she said, “Jesse, there is an intermix formula.”

But Jesse was the one lost now as she turned to rest her head against the wall, “Now I know why it’s called she.”

“It’s never been tested. It’s a theoretical relationship between time and antimatter.”

While keeping her head pressed to the wall Jesse looked back, reaching towards Pope, “Flesh to touch, to hold. A beach to walk on. A few days. Just the two of us. No one else. No responsibilities. No rules. No pressures. Just us.”

For a brief moment she saw a look of longing in Pope’s eyes, a wish for the same thing.

The doors opened, the expression leaving Pope’s face as it went back to her cold look of indifference.

Langston entered the room, looking confused as he glanced between the pair.

He opened his mouth to ask a question but Pope spoke first, “Standby to intermix. I’ll call the formula in from the bridge.”

At that the bridge called down, “Entering upper stratosphere, Captain. Skin temperature now 2,170 degrees.”

Jesse hit her fist against the wall before pushing away, “I’ve got to hang on.” She looked dramatically towards Pope, holding out her hand again before clasping her fingers into a fist she held to her chest.

It didn’t matter what she wanted, what she felt, she had a responsibility to others.

Calling to the bridge, she told them to, “Clear the corridors and turbo lift. Hurry.”

As Pope and Langston left her Jesse lifted her eyes, glaring at the ceiling as she shook her fist, “I’ll never lose you. Never. Even if…” her eyes drifted to the spot Pope had once occupied, “even if sometimes I want to.”

____

On the deck, Min-Young injected Jesse with the cure to the madness. Immediately her blood pressure dropped as the heat left her face.

On her way back to her seat, her eyes wandered to Pope’s station. She was not there but just looking at the spot made Jesse’s pulse rise again. The feelings she had always suppressed blazed higher than before, fed by the memory of Pope’s lips.

Sitting down she called to the engine room, “We’re set.”

Uhura turned back from the helm as she inquired ‘Course sir?”

“Direction. Direction.” Her eyes drifted to the side again as instead of seeing Pope’s station she saw her lips. Her blue eyes looking into hers. Her hands running up Jesse’s sides. To feelings that she was not allowed to act on. To feel.

‘It doesn’t matter. The way we came is fine.”

As Uhura fed in the orders Jesse let out a pained sigh, ‘No beach to walk on.”

___

Down in the engine room Pope worked with Langston to get the fuel ready. For a moment she paused, thinking of a beach and the feeling of holding someone’s hand. Of feeling the sunlight on her skin as they waded into the water with Jesse beside her.

“Langston, raise antimatter to 840 degrees.”

“That will take four minutes.”

‘We haven’t time. We’ll have to risk it. Bridge, we’re ready.”

___

Just hearing her voice took Jesse back to the feeling of her lips pressed to Pope’s. Of taking in the same breathe together, chests shuddering with longing as their fingers intertwined.

Feeling dizzy at the memory, she clenched her hand into a fist as she took in a deep breath to clear her mind, “Engage.”

The engines activated as they heard the sound grow higher and higher in pitch. Then with a sudden burst they found themselves far from the planet, outside its orbit, safe.

Once again they’d survived.

But as Jesse looked at Pope’s empty station she wondered if they’d really lived.

What was life if not being with the one you loved?

When Pope returned to the bridge she paused at Jesse’s chair, her voice soft as she inquired, “Are you alright?”

For the bridge’s sake, for her own sake, she answered that she was, but in her mind she was still in that office with Pope, forgetting about protocol and what logic dictated.

“Are you fine?”

Emily nodded as her eyes conveyed to Jesse that she was also back in the office with her.

As she moved away, Mi-Young told the room, “Now that we have the cure we’re over the hard part.”

Pope nodded from her station, ”Obviously we were successful.” Even to herself she sounded disappointed, like she missed the feeling of pursuing her emotions. Her feelings. Her desires.

Nothing she‘d ever feel again as she turned back to the computer and her numbers.

____

Arish leaned back from the dungeon master’s screen as he said “Thus ends our little adventure for today. I hope you all had fun.”

The others voiced their affirmations, even Langston let out a grumbled, “It was diverting.”

As Arish watched his coworkers discuss the storyline his eyes wandered over to Jesse and Emily. Both laughed along with Min-Young and Langston as they discussed their relief over everything turning out alright.

‘I really thought we were dead,” stated Langston.

“But what was with that kiss?” inquired Min-Young.

Arish leaned closer, also curious at the women’s response.

Jesse and Emily exchanged a look before Jesse laughed, “I don’t know, I just felt like it was what the characters would do. I can’t be the only one who noticed the sexual tension between Kirk and Spock.”

Emily smiled as she said, “Obviously not or I wouldn’t have reacted that way.”

Min-young’s eyebrow lifted in a doubtful expression, “So it was just…pretend?”

Jesse smiled, ‘of course. I don’t even know what half the things I said were.”

This seemed to be enough for the others as they accepted the answer. Across the room Arish was not so easily swayed as his eyes narrowed as he watched Jesse give her goodbye’s before leaving.

“Dylan is waiting for me.”

It was ten minutes before Emily extricated herself from a discussion with Langston on AIs. The remaining guests left soon after that as Min-Young assured him one final time, “This was fun. We should do it again soon.”

Once he was alone Arish quietly walked over to his chair, sitting down as he stared blankly ahead for a moment. Then in one sudden movement he leaned back in his chair as he yelled up at the sky, “What the hell was that?!”

Leaning forward he rested his arms on his knees as he held his head in his hands, staring down at the ground in amazement.

It didn’t make sense, but there was only one logical answer…

“Are the Director and the Head of Research a couple?”


End file.
